Yesterday, I had the pleasure of attending a release party and signing for dating and life coach, Andrea Syrtash. Her book, He’s Just Not Your Type (And That’s A Good Thing) was released last week by Rodale Press.
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Syrtash, now happily married, found love by expanding her rigid view of the type of man she’d enjoy. She went from the her usual type – six-figure Brooks Brother Corporate Shirt 9-5 guys – to an average salary math teacher/musician. The book features interviews with numerous women who found happy relationships with their “nontypes”. Syrtash breaks down the five types of soul mates (with some interesting exposition by a Jewish mysticism expert and Greek mythologist on the origin of sole mates) and gives the reader a funny and clear explanation of the three categories of nontypes: the Departure Nontype, the Superficial NonType, and the Circumstantial Nontype.
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I enjoyed the book because it comes from a powerful vantage point. Instead of telling women to settle for Mr. Good Enough (which comes from a place of fear and frustration), Syrtash is telling women not to settle, take Mr. Greater than Good, but keep your eyes open because he may not have blond hair and be 6″3 with runners’ calves or be the extrovert you’re typically drawn to. Syrtash’s craigslist message centers on being open and knowledgable about who you are, and realizing when you meet someone who encourages you to be a better version of yourself. She’s not saying to date men who repulse you (she says it’s okay to have a couple non-negotiables) but be open to finding love where you said it would never be found.
Here is an interesting tidbit : Andrea met her agent at a book party hosted by author Susan Shapiro, my teacher in the MFA Creative Writing Program at The New School. In addition, Susan teaches classes for craigslist people who want to write for magazines and newspapers or sell their first book. Most of her students get published. One classmate sold an essay for two grand to Marie Claire under Susan’s tutelage.
The book is funny and an engaging read; I read 80% of it sitting in Barnes and Noble in Union Square. She prompts the reader to reflect about her own dating patterns with exercises included in the book. If you’ve ever turned down a guy because he was too short, too nice, too put together, too nerdy, you need to buy this book.
At the party, I hung out with Melissa Braverman of Single Gal in the City. Melissa just got back from a whirlwind 8-week dating tour. She explored and researched what craigslist dating is like outside of New York City – yes that meant going on dates with a bunch of guys across the country! She traveled to major cities from Los Angeles to Portland to Miami. Be sure you check out her blog for updates on her research and coming book.
Here are some pictures from the party at City Tavern on East 13th between University and 5th. Nice place, they have two levels, with restaurant seating. Not pictured are “Celeste” of The Big Girl Blog, Tales of a Plus Size Princess in NYC and Simone Grant of Sex, Lies and Dating in the City.